Within the Archives
by Marches45 Story Network
Summary: I've decided to make a review fanfiction for stories on this archive, like Mr. Henry Peters and Antr. It's basically a critic show: I review stories, say what they possessed or lacked based on what I look for, and I give my honest opinion: should the story be praised, or should it be left to rot?
1. Marches45 (self review)

**Within the Archives**

**by Marches45**

**Inspired by _The Amazing World of Gumball: FanFiction Reviews_ and _Talking_**

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**Chapter I. _The Fork_ by Marches45**

"Welcome, all you aspiring writers. You've now entered the realm of feedback within the archives of The Amazing World of Gumball FanFiction. I'm Marches45, your host. I've written a few stories here, as well as given reviews for stories. So, here's how things are gonna go down: I review a story, say if it's good or bad, back myself up with facts, and rate the story using my 10-star system. It's just like— no. Check that. It's _exactly_ what my inspirations, FFCriticReviewer, who is what his pen name suggests, a critic/reviewer, and Antr, a writer and reviewer here, do in their respective works: _The Amazing World of Gumball: FanFiction Reviews_ and _Talking_. Okay. Let's get down to business. The first story I'll be reviewing is one of my own: _The Fork_.

"Nicole Watterson is folding clothes, thinking about her sex life with her husband when she finds out that Sal Left Thumb, or the Fingerprint Guy, has taken him hostage at the supermarket. She goes to confront the villain, who has gained a new ridiculous weapon: a fork. This hardly fazes Nicole, as she kills Sal and saves her husband. Yep. Simple summary. Now, let's get on with my review.

"Oh, my god, what the hell was I on when I wrote that crap? Coke? Marijuana? No, I would never do those things if my life depended on it. Anyway, what I did was not good, and now, I'm kind of ashamed to have written it the way I did. Here was the story's biggest problem: it was much too fast paced. It was so fast, it could run circles around Lightning McQueen and Francesco Bernoulli as they attempted to run circles around each other. I seriously could have added more to it to make readers feel and get it. I could have, in the words of Laengruk10001, "draw[n] the readers in with their hearts and minds racing." Most readers got it, but I doubt that they really _felt_ it.

"The grammar was pretty good, so there's little to talk about there, but really? Did I have to be such a potty mouth? Okay, some of the cussing may have been appropriate in terms of the situation at hand (Nicole facing Sal), but I just overdid it. Too many cuss words.

"Now, the characterization I used was sub par. The only two people that I think I could say acted close enough to how they normally do were Nicole and Sal. The other characters were really boring in this, especially the other unidentified men that Sal took hostage with Richard.

"The realism, I think, was faulty. Wouldn't Nicole have faced some resistance from the police, who were said to be on the scene but were never shown? And by the way, Sal couldn't scare the devil with any facial expression.

"I was right to say that the fight scene was short and uninteresting. Why? Because it was. Really. Only up to 200 words. Good fight scenes can't be that short.

"Now, I use a 10-star rating system. What each score means can be found on my profile. Generally, anywhere between 0 and 3 means the story was bad. 4 to 6 means it was okay, but could have been done better. 7 to 10 means the author did a good job.

"My score of this? 3/10. _The Fork_ was an not that great an idea to start with, and it made it worse by using too fast a pace, leaving too much to the imagination of the reader, poor characterization, a lack of realism, overuse of swear words, and a banal fight."

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**I bet you find it kinda weird that I'm doing this for my own story. Well, the next one won't be one of mine.**


	2. BJsprite

**Chapter II. ****_Gumball's Big Day_****, by BJsprite**

"Okay, this is just one of the biggest pieces of pure shit I've read! Why the fuck would this even be considered acceptable by ANYONE?! I hate this story! A LOT! It's just a worthless piece of shit that I don't even think deserves to be here on the archive. I don't care that I sound mean; this is just putrid. Here's the gist.

"Gumball, lovestruck over Penny Fitzgerald, decides to show her his willy in class after wanting to masturbate in class. He gets sent to the principal's office, where he makes Principal Brown his fuck-buddy, and they practice sodomy. It ends when Gumball cuts Principal Brown in half with his masturbation-induced "SuperSized" dick. Later, it turns out that termites in Principal Brown's fur have gotten into Gumball's ass, giving him AIDS, which kills him.

"Nothing. Not one thing in this was good. The plot was horribly underdeveloped (and it was a poor choice to start with), the author can't keep a consistent verb tense worth a damn, and it's obvious that he/she is ignorant about reproduction and STDs, and BJsprite, if you read this and argue that you do understand, your fanfic epically fails to prove it.

"This plot was just… a slap to the face. If I showed this to Antr, Bryce Avila, Jamie Skyland, and/or EvelioandZgroup, they'd rage about this (or not). This is one of the things what is wrong with this archive. I hate it. StephenThePlaystationDude even asked "What illegal drugs were you on when you wrote this!?" I can't agree more. BJsprite probably wasn't on anything, but it's as if he/she was.

"You don't even wanna KNOW the specifics of what unfolded in the principal's office. It was just abrupt, horrendous, and it was illegal what the two characters did. Honestly, Principal Brown should have known better. He is not a sexual person, and BJsprite did absolutely nothing to make us feel nor understand that Pr. Brown could have this kind of character. And if Gumball killed Pr. Brown, wouldn't he have been detained instead of receiving no legal consequences?

"The GumBrownItes. Just… blech! That doesn't even make any sense! How could Gumball have reproduced a life form from his ass? Another thing, how could masturbating cause an erection large and sharp enough to cut someone in half? This is just BAD with a capital B-A-D.

"Now, my rating: 0/10. This was just a bunch of bullshit that got into someone's head, but it should have been supressed and never entered the archive, and it most definitely wouldn't have if the story had to go through a voting to decide if it was good enough to be here. I urge you, don't read this. Even those whom FFCR considers Stephanie Meyers-type writers could do something better than this.

Have you ever seen the YourFavoriteMartian video "Dookie Fresh?" This was the perfect description of what Puff turned out to be at the end: he smelled as bad as this story was in terms of quality. It's almost as bad as _Dipper Goes to Taco Bell_."

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**No, I'm not going to just review bad stories here. I'll do good ones.  
**


	3. Silent Fire 18

**Chapter III. ****_Gumball's Big Move_**** by Silent Fire** **18**

"I've read a few Gumball x Carrie fanfics. Many of them weren't that good. Sadly, this isn't an exception.

"As sixteen-year-olds, Carrie asks Gumball out to the movies after they get out of detention. He lets her stay at his home for a few days after tensions arise between her and her mother. Teaming with his brother and father, he builds her a house while some romance goes on between them, reaching a climax when it is discovered that Gumball impregnated Carrie

"Here's a noticeable problem: it lacked some useful details. Rushing is always a bad idea, as it makes a good story bad and a bad story worse.

"The romance wasn't good. The sex between the couple came too quickly. I know, the two liked each other for three years, but honestly, that was too fast. Romance takes time, more time than this story gave, unless the two are just way too horny.

"The characterization was poor. Why is Richard suddenly so enthusiastic about helping to build a house when we all know how lazy he is? The author provides no reason for it. Why is Nicole suddenly angry towards girls Gumball likes? If it's because of the crap Gumball went through with Penny, it should have been stated. Also, I don't think Carrie was played out well at all. She's too cheery for the most part. And Masami. This gives her the opposite character that we know. Similar for Penny.

"Another thing, Darwin's perspective shouldn't have been lumped at the end. It should have been mixed in with the rest of the story.

"The best thing was that the spelling had hardly a blemish.

"My score: 2/10. This story wasn't good at all. I know I'll get disagreement, but that's what I saw. Deal with it."

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**Before you start raging on me, let me state the facts: Silent Fire 18 told me that as long as I'm honest, he doesn't give a shit if the review is bad. He actually likes my brutal honesty. He's a good kid.  
**


	4. EvelioandZgroup

**Chapter IV. ****_A Memoir to the Wild One_**** by EvelioandZgroup**

"By far, Evelio is one of the most famous writers of the archive. He's been here for almost as long as the archive has been around, and he has written stories both good and bad. This is definitely one of his good ones.

"Tobias, a supporting character, presents a story in which he stands up for Gumball, his "crush," and receives a hug in return. Going home, he discovers a horrifying secret about himself, so he runs away from home to Gumball's house. He's allowed to stay for the night, and the next day he returns to his home and discovers he has died in a car crash. At his funeral, Gumball attends because Tobias was his friend.

"Here's something that I think Evelio needs to improve: he repetitively skips words, and he sometimes butchers the words he uses. Luckily, I was able to decipher what he meant in each case. Also, near the end, he contradicts a previous statement.

"In addition, it's cliché to have a character run away from home. I've seen it a few times before.

"Now, the good stuff. Evelio details the personality he wants to give Tobias, making it believable that what he presents is Tobias' inner feelings. He also explores the possible perspectives of a homosexual/bisexual preteen dealing with his emotions towards his possible love interest whom we assume is his rival. I like the surprise twist at the end: we find out Tobias was dead the whole time, and this was all in his head.

"Miss Simian is played out well, holding true to her personality, thought I wouldn't expect her to make this kind of a mistake. Of course, she's humanlike, so that's quite possible. I know I've had teachers that made mistakes from time to time.

"Another good thing: this isn't one of the stories in which Evelio capitalizes the first letter of every word, which I understand was a style that stuck with him when he wrote some of his screenplays.

"My score: 7.5/10. This work by one of the Greats of the archive is exemplary in terms of detail and explanation, and it was kind of a premonitory story: it was written before the episode _The Voice_, in which Tobias stated that he felt like a supporting character in his own life. What I'm saying is, I thought of that episode when I read this."


	5. Comet1998

**Chapter V. ****_Money for Nothing_**** by Comet1998**

"This is one of the older pieces of the archive, written over the course of almost a year. I haven't seen any activity from him for this archive since around the time I joined. I understand it was nominated for the 1st TAWOG Awards, and after reading it, I think I see why.

"We have Gumball and Darwin finding a bag money stolen and dropped by Sal Left Thumb. When schoolmates discover it the next day, they have to take a life and flee. Then, Sal Left Thumb confronts them and takes the money, and when he goes to take care of them for making his goal more difficult to achieve, Nicole steps in.

"I find that the plot gives a possible answer to the question, 'What would you do if you found money somewhere?' The characterization was pretty good in terms of Darwin's naïvety (especially in Season 1), the crazy things one less mature person would do to protect himself from consequences, Miss Simian's hatred towards her student, and a mother's strong will to keep her children safe from danger. The genres seemed appropriate for the story, and the plot twist at the very end made me think, 'Wow.'

"I also believe that is symbolically premonitory, considering the recents events here on the archive. You know what I mean, the fight over the necessity of critics.

"Now, I did notice that the author could have said some things in a more natural way, and he could have been a bit more detailed. There were a few minor grammar issues as well, along with at least one misused word. The biggest problem was that what Nicole did has been done before quite often. There has even been variations on it, such as a dodgeball to the coconuts, as seen in Total Drama Island. Of course, this does prove how much Nicole loves her boys, so her actions are understandable. Another thing, Teri's made of paper, so what was there blood for?

"My score: 7/10. The author demonstrates his skill at writing, but like just about everything, there is room for improvement.


	6. Leo Rodriguez

**Chapter VI. _A Beautiful Girl Named Carrie_ by Leo Rodriguez**

"Of all the TAWOG fan pairings, Gumball x Carrie may be the most popular. The pairing even has more than 80 fan-kids, as well as around 15 fan-grandkids. This focuses on the canon characters in a story that's unbelieveable.

"Gumball, Darwin, and CJ (OC) are walking down the hall, and they confront Tobias, Jamie, and Tina. The latter two leave, thinking fighting them is a waste of time, but Tobias knocks out Gumball. While unconscious, Gumball dreams of Carrie telling him she loves him, and when he wakes up, he plans to tell about his dream to Darwin and CJ. Later, another group of bullies calls Gumball a loser and tells him to kill himself. Gumball runs off and finds Carrie, who warns him about Penny. When Gumball makes an advance on her, she resists, stating her intent to remain friends. Then, she admits to herself that she loves him.

"Like I said: this is unbelieveable, and not in a good way. The story itself may be a good idea, but the author didn't make it seem that way.

"The OC, CJ, added nothing to the story, so he shouldn't have been included. The characterization used was erroneous: if Tina and Jamie wanted to beat up Gumball, they damn well would. They would never decide that it's a waste of time. Tobias is too much of a wimp to knock out Gumball, and we've all observed that. The second group of bullies shows no good reason to tell Gumball to kill himself simply for being a loser, and by the way, Bobert is within this group. He'd be indifferent to this conflict considering his character. Last, but not least, Gumball wouldn't crumble as easily under such bullying.

"My score: 2/10. A story with characters so unlike themselves with no offered explanation."

**I WANT TRUE FREEDOM ON FF!**


	7. Globaluna32

**Chapter VII. _The Golden Rule_ by Globaluna32**

"If any of you is wondering why I said 'I WANT TRUE FREEDOM ON FF!" at the end of the last chapter, it's because there's some anonymous guy going around deleting stories that don't conform to the FF idea, which I don't support. If you're with me, EvelioandZgroup, FFCriticReviewer (from whom I got this), etc., say that in one of your fanfictions. Now, my review.

"Gumball, whose hormones and desires are having an effect on him, looks up Rule 34 when he should be in bed because the stuff he's already seen is becoming banal. He finds pictures of his nude dad, his nude mom, and one of himself (clothed) giving his dad a blow job. He screams, attracting his mother's attention, so he tries to cover his crime up, but fails miserably. When his mom sees what he's looked up, he gets to see her in the nude, prompting her to let him off the hook if no one finds out.

"I've got to say that this is a bunch of craziness. The author did give details, though could have included more, and she did show realistic reactions of characters. The grammar was good, but here's the problem: the plot.

"There really wasn't much plot development within this story, and I don't think it could get better because it would be a plot similar to an episode of 6teen (at least, that's what I think).

"My score: 4/10. Realistic, yes. Good plot? Not really."


	8. Loob88

**Chapter VIII. ****_Just Friends_**** by loob88**

"I'm gonna start by saying that if you really want to know what the good stories on this archive are, check out FFCriticReviewer's _FanFiction Reviews _and Antr's _Talking_. This story isn't included there yet, but they've got enough of the knowledge and a rather critical eye to say what's good and what's shit. I try to emulate them (mostly Henry) when I review stuff, and I can say that this story was yet another example of bad writing.

"Thanks to a student house swap program, Gumball and Carrie wind up living under the same roof. When Carrie takes Gumball with her on her wailing, Gumball comments on her red buttocks. Later that morning, she puts on a black dress and flashes him again.

"[blows raspberry] That's what I think of this. The only thing it's got that's good is its grammar. The punctuation in quotations is not good when using declarative sentences, which I notice occurs in SO MANY of the stories on the archive. People, end the last declarative sentence within a quotation with a comma, NOT a period.

"Another shortcoming, something major, is the realism, which just erodes the already unbelieveable plot. Why the heck would a school have a co-ed house swap program? By the way, that was only mentioned in the summary. The only times that two people of the opposite sex should sleep in the same room is if they're husband and wife, and that's not always the case. The romantic realism is also bad. Romance takes time to bud, and this gave little time; it was horribly rushed.

"This story was examined in _A Year Full of Gumball,_ also by this author. Neither of these was finished, and I doubt they will be, which is yet another flaw.

"I give this 0.5/10 stars. Realistically insufficient, poor plot, and basically, another bad story."

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**Right now, I'm in the middle of making a Valentine's Day horror story, but it already uses a cliché element, so I don't have high hopes for it, for that reason and because I just assume that everything I do sucks, whether or not it does. I even think that my one good story wasn't as good as some claim it to be.**


	9. Cooper McCarthy (and friends)

**Chapter IX. ****_The Macabre of Elmore (Prologue) _****by Cooper McCarthy, EvelioandZgroup, Bryce Avila, Jamie Skyland, Penelope Peterson, and Henry Peters**

"[dark, dramatic voice] Two sides…in a conflict triggered by a young, misguided soul. Now, he disguises himself as his enemy, seeking vengeance. Is there an end to this war in sight? Is't better to learn or to remain in one's own mind?

"[normal voice] You should all know what I mean: Agent BM has started his own critic show. Since it's his opinion, he can go for it for all I care. I won't stop him; however, I'm not on board with this. Why? Because to me, you need to have at least one good story to do something like this, so I wouldn't trust his reviews, especially since it's just for revenge.

"Now the review. I must say I'm quite impressed with this collaboration. Finally, something new and good is brought to to the archive. Let's begin.

"In the prologue, Gumball, Carrie, and Nicole are watching a horror movie in the Watterson house when Nicole goes to the kitchen for a deadly surprise. Gumball reveals that he knows what goes on while having been seemingly transfixed by the TV all as he introduces the synopsis for what is to come.

"Well, what exactly was Carrie doing at the Watterson residence in the first place? Was she invited to something? There's no explanation. There _were_ a few areas with incorrect word use, but not so much that it detracted from the rest of the introduction. Now, how exactly did the ax affect Carrie if there was nothing special about it?

Now, the good stuff: EVERYTHING ELSE. Once the inciting action occurs, it injects you with anticipation as you continue reading. It is a true thriller with good detail and characters with unexpected performances, and it will leave you wanting more from this collaboration. I also like that it proves Henry is not lazy (this is for everyone that thinks he is).

"Now, I'm gonna compare the uniting of the authors that bring forth this work to music: it is like a mass ensemble composition in which each ensemble sounds complete on its own; when brought together, they produce a magnificent result. I look forward to the continuation of this fanfiction.

"I give this 9/10. A great introduction for what will hopefully be an even greater collection of stories."


	10. Lexboss (666 views! Helllllllllll…p!)

**Chapter X. ****_THE LOVE, Gumballs fears_**** by lexboss (Oh, shit! 666 views)**

"Perhaps one of the most notable female writers here on this archive, lexboss has brought forth, with the help of EvelioandZgroup, who was/is her beta reader, and damntohell29, a tale of what occurred in the middle of her story _The Love_. She asked me to review this, so I have.

"After Gumball recalls hearing about a family whose lives took a turn for the worst when it was discovered that the mother and son committed incest, Gumball fears what will become of his and his mother's relationship. Fortunately, Nicole can settle the attitude of 'Hakuna Matata' on him. Please, don't point out my reference to Lion King.

"I noticed some capitalization and punctuational errors, along with verb tense, but I was able to stay focused on the story.

"I will not say whether or not I liked the incest element, which I think is kind of cliché, because I'm not a prejudiced person in terms of that issue.

"I feel that this is an emotional piece, capturing the inner thoughts of a boy who's intimidated by his society's view of ideal lifestyles. It is natural for a mother to want her child to feel safe, and to me, this story raises the question: Mother knows best, but does she do best? In this tale's case… I can't say without sounding prejudiced.

"I'd give this 7/10. Lexboss, you and Evelio make a good partnership for writing. This was a good story."

* * *

**Does anyone remember Don, the troll that was submitting flame reviews on many of the early stories of the archive? I wasn't here on the archive until some time after EvelioandZgroup stopped him with _The First Blood_. Anyway, I fear that he may once again have reared his ugly head. This time, I've observed him using the guest names "don" (no capitalization) and "Donny," _and_ I believe he has a definite target this time: lexboss. He claims that she is too nice to people, so he wants to see her suffer. If you're against this, say— you know what? Don't even let him bother you. Don't give a damn what he says. He's just a troll.**


	11. Storyteller54

**Chapter XI. ****_The power_**** by Storyteller54**

"I have a Valentine's Day story that I'm working on (the setting is literally February 14, 2014), but I'm worried that I won't make it good. I'm not going to reveal the specifics about the plot, which may change, but I've got the title set as _Singles Awareness Day_. Sounds like a crummy day when put that way, huh? Guess what else sounds crummy: the story I'm reviewing right now.

"After a long day and night of work, Nicole comes home to see her house in horrible disarray. She makes her husband and boys clean their mess up while she goes out to clear her head. After ripping her dress (oddly the front part), she goes into the bathroom, where she gets a headache and faints.

"Already, I can tell that even without the story being completed, it will not flourish. The main good thing is that there is enough detail used to tell what's going on. The punctuation and verb tense issues are a problem, though. This story even includes believability errors, like Nicole's dress ripping on a bench. What circumstances could b going on to cause it?

"The biggest problem is this: originality, which is, for this story and the following simile, as existent as the contents of an empty box. The basic idea for this fanfiction is trite, as there is already an entire episode about the main idea of this work: Nicole's anger. We can probably make a good prediction of what will happen, especially since the author used one of the occurrences from the episode: Nicole's forceful angry stare.

"A story that lacks a sense of originality, realism, and believability is mediocre, and it just won't do. I'd give it 2.5/10."


	12. EvelioandZgroup 2

**Chapter XII. _The_ _Fallen Angel: The Story Of Carrie_ By EvelioandZgroup**

"I Bet You're Asking Yourself A Question. I'll Address It Later. For Now, I'll Give The Review.

"For A Class Assignment, Miss Simian's Students Must Do A Report On One Another. Gumball Is Assigned To Carrie, Who Takes Him To Her Tombstone In The Local Cemetary And Proceeds To Tell Gumball Of Her Life Before Her Death, As Well As Her Cause Of Death.

"This Story Does Have Detail, But I Think It Needs A Little More In Some Places, Certainly At The Beginning. The Spelling Is Good, Though I Noticed Incongruities In Verb Phrases, Tense Inconsistencies, Punctuational Errors, Among Others. The Last Paragraph Could Have Been Stated Better Than It Was. To Me, It Sounds A Bit Juvenile.

"Now, The Basic Plot, In Which Students Receive An Assignment From The Teacher, And Then Stuff Happens Between Then And The Due Date, Seems Unoriginal; However, The Originality Is In The Specifics Of What Happens, So Evelio's Story Has That To Help It. Of Course, The Biggest Thing With This FanFiction Is That It's Not Done. This Story Is An Attention Grabber, But Leaves Readers Wondering What Happens Next Because We Know It's Incomplete And It Ends On A Cliffhanger.

"I'll Let It Slide That It Doesn't Go With The Show's Idea Of What Happened To Carrie Since It Was Made Before The Episode That Gave The Reveal. Of Course, The Fact That She Was A Rabbit When She Was Alive Seems Unbelievable. Where Are Her Ears?

"Detailing The Life And Most Likely Death Of Carrie, This Story Leaves You Begging For More. Seriously. It's Not Done. What Happens Next? I'd Give It 4.5/10.

"Now, I Know What Question You're Thinking: Why Did I Capitalize Every Word's First Letter In This Review? That's Easy: It's Because This Was A Story Evelio Wrote With That Style, And Because I Kind Of Admire It. Think Of It As A Tribute To Him.


	13. Flying Star

**Chapter XIII. ****_The Wish_**** by Flying Star**

"The title of this story seems somewhat appropriate considering the screen name of the author, Flying Star. She brings forth a sequel to the TAWOG Christmas episode.

"Immediately as the show ends, Nicole and the family go back inside their house to go to bed so that Santa will pay a visit sooner. They don't realize that a figure that lurks in the shadows has a plan to make Nicole's wish for a normal family a reality.

"I really don't like that this author abandoned the story after one chapter. Because of that, this review is pretty short.

"What's good is that it uses sufficient detail, it sounds believable, and the grammar is good. That's all I can say about it since it's so short.

"We must be careful what we wish for because we might just get it. With this Christmastime work that makes me think of King Midas, that is exactly the case. I'd give it 6.5/10."


	14. Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus

**Chapter XIV. ****_Richard The Oaf _****by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus**

"We all know Richard. We know how lazy, overweight, and how much of an oaf he is. But did you ever know that he was a pervert? No? Neither did I. There's a simple reason for that: he's not, so don't worry. What you need to worry about is this story.

"Richard is trying to sleep peacefully while his sons keep pestering him. Yeah, this is it. That's the only thing that happened. One thing.

"Already, so many problems jump out at me, like the plot, characterization, and believability. The plot just sucks as there is no taste nor a real point in this. It's as dull as HP and Sanderson. Yeah, I made a Fairly OddParents reference.

"Characterization and realism: shameful. This author cast [crosses legs] Richard as a perverted father without any reason as to why he would be this way. The role could be easily disproven due to the proper evidence's absence from this story. Now, there is also the matter of why Richard just didn't ignore his kids. Ordinarily, that would be —[pauses, crosses legs tighter] Excuse me for a sec."

I turn to my left and run off the stage down the aisle, headed to the restroom. I go for the nearest urinal and do my business. As I sigh in relief, someone walks in behind me. As I turn to go wash my hands after finishing, I face him and see his malicious smile.

"Hello, Marches45. Had fun ** yourself? (think about it)" says the stranger.

"Uh, who are you, ya creeper?" I ask, raising an eyebrow, "and how do you know my name?"

"Isn't it obvious, you **? Oh, God, you're as dumb as FFCriticReviewer," he sneers.

My eyes widen, and then they quickly narrow with annoyance. "Oh, it's you."

"Who?" he asked tauntingly.

"Don. What do you wa— Nope. On second thought, I really don't care." I walk past him and exit the bathroom.

"Stop saying peoples' bad stuff is good, you **!" he called out to me. I turn around and hold my arms behind my back. As I speak, I press a secret button on my watch, hiding it from Don's view.

"Why? So you can run rampant on FF . Net and ** up the meaning of a good story? So you can get to lexboss and make her suffer? No. I think I'll stay. You, though, should take yo' ol', stanky behind and get the hell out. You probably don't think so, but I'm secretly laughing at you. Do you have any idea how ridiculous you act trolling all the time on your stupid guest account?"

"Shut up! Just shut the ** up!" he shouts, pointing a finger at md. "No one calls me ridiculous. I call others ridiculous. They can't write worth **!"

"How do we know you can?" I say, crossing my arms. "All you've done is call stuff bad for no reason, yet you call me and Henry bad? Sir, we do something you don't: analyze before making a decision. Now, I think I've said enough." I point my finger towards the exit of the…I'll call it a "theater." "Get out so I can stop being a rip-off artist."

Suddenly, two security guards grab Don, who grunts as he struggles to break free and fails.

"This isn't over, Marches45!" he shouts as the guards drag him away.

"Oh, I believe it is," I say simply, smirking. I walk back into the auditorium and get back onstage.

"Sorry about that," I apologize. "Anyway, ignoring Gumball and Darwin would be Richard's ordinary course of action at a time like this.

"A pointless plot that won't go anywhere, erroneous, and unbelievable are how I'd describe this work, which I'd give 1/10. Now, if you'll excuse me, I still need to wash my hands." I run back to the bathroom.

* * *

**Okay, I've totally ripped off two— I mean someone and something: Henry Peters, badly even, and Family Guy. Figure out how. You already know. Anyway, my encounter with Don is only for this chapter. If I did it for the next several chapters, I'd also rip off The Amanda Show. So, no more Don appearances. At least, for a while.**


	15. Nmgh101

**Chapter XV. ****_Nobody_**** by nmgh101**

"You know why I find this review kind of special? It's because this was the very first story I read on the TAWOG archive once I found out about it. While browsing the archive, I began to think about this story, so I thought, _Why not?_ Well, the answer lies in this review.

"Gumball's cousin, Nobody (OC), comes to live in the Watterson household following the demise of his parents. After one day, Nobody finds romance in two places, feeling more content with the new girl, Samantha (also an OC), while rejecting the queen bee Masami. In revenge, Masami commits suicide and takes out Nobody with her.

"Okay, back when I first read it, it seemed like a good story. Now, after rereading and analyzing it further, I realize that it doesn't even come close to that. It's uninteresting, rushed, and unrealistic. We are given a recently orphaned OC that can't keep up with the pace of its own story, which covers too many events in too little time. He finds love in the form of another OC, and the funny thing is that neither one of them has his/her history detailed very much. Their love blooms faster than what would be considered realistic, and that is done way too much on the archive.

"The canon characters have performances that range from really uninteresting to out of character to melodramatic. This is especially true about Masami, who sobs immediately after Nobody rejects her and commits suicide over it that same day.

"There is also a definite issue with spelling and grammar in this story, but I think I've said enough.

"_Nobody_ should let the title and summary fool you into thinking that this is a good story because that is absolutely not the case. It is of a faster pace than it should be, and it's quite predictable and unrealistic with its romantic side. I'd give it 0/10.


	16. ThunderboundAwesomeness

**Chapter XVI. _Getting Away with__ Murder_ by ThunderboundAwesomeness**

"Do you like mystery stories? Do you like the suspense? Do you like detailed, original, and believable stories? Well, if you looking for a mystery story with those qualities, you're not gonna find it here.

"In one of the earliest fanfics of the archive, Gumball and his friends attend a mansion party hosted by Rocky when an anonymous killer strikes.

"It's a cliché. That's already a problem. Another is the fact that it is horribly rushed. Something like this needs to take about an hour to read, but no. This author mashed a giant series of events in a story that could be read in about five minutes. Next, it's unbelievable. For instance, Darwin rolls down the stairs and dies. I'd think he'd just suffer bruises. I know this because I've actually fallen down the stairs before. Also, why is Teri only mentioned one time if she's in the mansion with everyone else? She's not even in any of the groups formed.

"I find this cliché, unbelievable, and rushed with cheap horror. I'd give it 0/10."


	17. Wolley2xjd

**Chapter XVII. ****_The strip club_**** by wolley2xjd**

"Okay, I was looking through the list of fanfics for something to review. I came across this. Remember how FFCriticReviewer said that _Gumball's Big Day_ was a hater to the archive? Well, this piece of shit is a hater to writing of any quality, good or bad! I'm only reviewing it to tell you to stay the hell away from it! It's like the Medusa of writing! Actually, it's worse! In fact, I'm just gonna give it my rating now: -10/10. Yeah, it's so bad, I gave it negative stars.

"After losing her original job, Nicole gets offered a new one at a strip club, which she accepts, but she keeps it a secret from her family for a time. This story also brings in Ash Ketchum from Pokémon and movie star Dwayne Johnson.

"I dare you to read this story and find three flawless things within it. I couldn't because the bad stuff was so prominent! It was rushed, unrealistic, unbelievable, unoriginal, and just a fucking eyesore!

"It started with Nicole applying for jobs over the phone, but it offered no explanation as to why she lost her job. Next, she started smart-mouthing an armed crook. You never do that! At the end, she takes her whole family to the strip club, even Anais! This is how Gumball finds out about her job. All of his friends are there for some reason. WTF?!

"Now, the plot is bad because it's much too similar to zombiefear101's I'm in love with a stripper, at least, the beginning of it. It just used Nicole instead of Carrie, but the reason was the same: each character had internal conflict.

"You know what my biggest problem with this piece of pure shit is? The punctuation and paragraphs! This story has reasonable grammar, but a) THERE WAS NOT ONE QUOTATION MARK IN THE ENTIRE DAMN THING, and b) EVERY DAMN CHAPTER IS ONE MOTHER FUCKING MASS PARAGRAPH! That is why I found it to be an eyesore!

"A story with that's as badly written as this does not belong on this archive. It makes the usual bad stories seem to have Grade A quality."

* * *

**Okay, I read _War and Rebellion _by Ender McAuthor; I really didn't see how Henry came to the conclusion that it made Don look good.**


	18. Luna Elune

**Chapter XVIII. _The First Time_ by Luna Elune**

"Alright. Let's make something clear: I'm completely fine w/ homosexuality, even though I'm heterosexual. If you're a homophobe, don't read this next story, but I've gotta tell everyone else, you're missing out on something.

"Gumball and Darwin stay home alone while the rest of the family go to a party. The boys, who are in love with one another, do it for the first time.

"This is a very detailed lemon. It leaves a clear image in your head of what goes on between the two characters. Nevertheless, this piece is very interesting.

"Believability. Now, I don't see Gumball as the kind of person that uses "baby" as a term of endearment, but since he's 17, it might work.

"The plot really doesn't serve to be enough of a story. A story should have more than just sex.

"An interesting, detailed work like this is one of the best Gumwin pieces in which they do it. I give it 7/10 stars as a lemon. It's a real attention grabber. However, as a story itself, I have to give it 4/10."


	19. The Delhision

**Chapter XIX. _A Birthday to Remember_ by the Delhision**

"You all know how a certain someone keeps on f***ing up the role for Lexy, right? Well, I've gotta say that this is probably her best performance yet.

"Going out to buy groceries for Gumball's 12th birthday, Nicole meets the last person she'd ever expect.

"Here's what's wrong: the initial encounter between Lexy and Nicole. a) It's cliché, and b) it's predictable. I can let it go a little since I don't think there's a way to make it better.

"The goods: most else. It is a powerful story that is heartwarming, sweet, and extensively detailed. It superbly captures the feelings of the characters, with whom you will sympathize considering the circumstances (save for the minor ones), and it gives a good image of the setting.

"This author has demonstrated exceptional skill in writing for this archive, and if the TAWOG Awards hadn't been deleted, I would definitely nominate him in a heartbeat.

"The best part for Lexy so far, and excellent performances for most other characters. I'd give it 7/10. Good job."


	20. InvaderZIM

**Chapter XX. ****_A Body for Carrie_**** by InvaderZIM**

"I'm back! Miss me? Well, whether or not you did, it's review time. Now, when this first came out, I thought it'd be a GxC story. I was in for a surprise.

"Carrie wants her own body, but is it all she initially assumes it to be.

"Bad marks: it's cliché, the "Be careful what you wish for" idea. It's been in Aladdin and The Little Mermaid. There were many words that had no space between them, too.

"Good marks: it's funny, especially Darwin's naiveté at one point. It's unpredictable somewhat, especially the ending. It also sticks with the continuity of the show for the most part.

"That part with Gumball at the end honestly made me cringe.

"If you want laughs, drama, and an unexpected plot that's also cliché, here's where you get off (get it?). I give this story 7/10."


	21. BigBenjamin

**Chapter XXI. ****_Fake date_**** by BigBenjamin**

"Well, guys [sighs] it looks like it's nearing the end of _The Amazing World of Gumball: Fan Fiction Reviews._ You know, I already said it before (more than once), but Henry is the very reason that I do this. It's a shame that he's leaving after Christmas. The same goes for the others: EvelioandZgroup, Jamie Skyland, Bryce Avila, Penelope Peterson, and Cooper McCarthy. All of these guys and girls are the best. They brought quality and creativity to this archive, and it won't be the same without them. I can say that what they had in mind with creating their stories wasn't in the mind of this author.

"Feeling unable to express his feelings for Penny, the now-high-school Gumball takes Tobias' advice: making Penny jealous.

"You can't tell me that this story will be good if you think you know what will happen. Here's the problem: the plot is cliché. I've seen it enough times to predict what will happen unless the author decides to make some surprise twist. Even then, though, that will still be a cliché element.

"The characterization wasn't that good either. Bobert's too, how I'd say, "Starfire talking like an American teenager." He's much more robotic than that. Tobias would be much more competitive than supportive for Gumball, so that's a hole. Yes, Darwin is Gumball's guardian, but he seems too wise.

"Okay, yes, changing the characters' personalities has been done in good stories, but the changes are explained instead of being abrupt. Oh, I spy a plot hole.

"Punctuation: in need of improvement. Very badly.

"Giving a taste of what we already expect in plot with lack of punctuation in areas while offering no explanation as to the changes in character. I give this 1.5/10."

* * *

**Okay, guys. I read _TAWOG: FF Reviews _Chapter 83. I get that you're mad that Lexboss, Agent BM, Storyteller54, and I were insulted in the chapter. I sincerely hope your anger is directed at the anonymous user or just not even there. I've chosen to ignore the insult.**

**Anyway, don't get angry at Henry. Those aren't his words. I don't know why he let the user give a berating review, but— actually, I have a possible solution. He probably let the user do what he did for the same reason he didn't delete Don's reviews. He explained why he didn't delete the Don reviews in a past chapter, so read that.**

**Back to my point: if you're angry, be angry at the anonymous person, or don't be angry. Just ignore it. Thank you.**


	22. EvelioandZgroup 3

**Chapter XXII. ****_Gumball S1E1: The Girl _****by EvelioandZgroup**

"I decided to review another story by this well-liked author. Good thing I did.

"In the pilot of a series about nothing, Gumball takes on a personality opposite of his usual one. He makes the decisions to: talk to Rachel, who's been demoted to sixth grade, and go on a date with Carrie over Penny, while opting not to be her boyfriend, but her best _boy_ friend instead, and getting her to feel more emotions than just pain.

"This story was pretty funny. All of the characters have random and/or wacky performances, and realism fit the nature of the show. Example: Rachel's parents demoting her. I doubt that could happen in real life, but in TAWOG universe, so much stuff that defies logic occurs, so that's a positive.

"I did, however, notice areas where the sentence structure seems neither natural nor grammatically correct. For example: 'but were among themselves a conversation between each other.' There were also some verb tense issues. I know Evelio usually submits his first draft (I do too), but a few edits won't hurt.

"A comedy that's true to its topic: nothing. Very original, if you ask me. I give it 8/10."

* * *

**Now, about the anonymous user. There is a community etiquette rule in the guidelines that was broke****n: "Everyone here is an aspiring writer. Respect your fellow members and lend a helping a hand when they need it. Like many things, the path to becoming a better writer is often a two way street." The anonymous violated that with his insults.**

**Now, don't start saying I break this rule; I focus more on the writing than the writer, and I give facts. After all, not all reviews praise the work.**


	23. Smacman13 (2K views)

**Chapter XXIII. ****_Lifeless Love_**** by smacman13**

"I'll start this chapter by saying thank you to everyone that has read the past 22 chapters. I've reached 2,000 views with this (yay, me! Yeah, Suite Life reference). You know what's weird, though? When a good story has few followers and favorites, and a bad one has several. I'd categorize this next one as somewhere between okay and bad.

"Now, the reason I chose to do a Gumball x Carrie story is because I recently finished a drawing of the two as adults with a few (18) of their very many kids, and it is now in my deviantART gallery. Anyway, to the review.

"Carrie is having internal conflict because of her feelings for Gumball and his affection for Penny. He suffers heartache when he catches Penny and Tobias having a moment in the school cafeteria. Carrie comforts him when Gumball leaves, and when she returns, she sees another ghost, Marmalade (OC), who claims to be her and Gumball's daughter.

"The good parts: spelling, for the most part, detail, which is sufficient in most places, and the romance is a bit better than in some other stories on the archive.

"The shortcomings: The last scene in the second chapter seems a bit rushed, the OCs really don't do anything, I see cliché elements, such as the love triangle, and Carrie isn't really herself in this. The possibility of Tobias going so far as to kiss Penny without her permission is slim to none, and she's really not that violent.

"This Gumball x Carrie fanfic isn't really as bad as some of the others, but it still fails to do justice. I'd give it 3/10."


	24. xXDasXGoochXx

**Chapter XXIV. ****_ClickClick_**** by xXDasXGoochXx**

"Lemons. They're all centered around sex. We've seen them all over the archive. The supposedly best author of such stories is xXDasXGoochXx. After reading this one, the only thing I can say is 'WTF?!'

"In order to get the Daisy concert ticket from her brother, Anais has to let him take pictures of her, an endeavor that quickly escalates into something much more… yeah, I think you get the idea.

"What's good about this lemon is the spelling, except for Daisy (using a 'z'), and the detail, which is needed for lemons.

"The negatives: pretty much, the plot itself. Sure, sex is something many of us want one day, but why must it be the whole story's plot? There should be more to it than just sex. Also, WHY GUMBALL AND ANAIS?! AND WHY WHEN THEY'RE THEIR CANON AGES?! Ulgh! That's just…no. I know the author specializes in these types of stories, but why this? It's worse because Gumball's dominance and overpowering personality in this doesn't make you believe it's really him. Gumball, why would you want to f*ck your FOUR-YEAR-OLD sister? She's not mature enough.

"Also, where are Richard and Nicole? If Anais screamed as loud as she did, wouldn't she attract their attention?

"The best lemon writer has done a less-than-spectacular job with this one, with errors in realism and believeability. I'd give it 3/10 stars."


	25. RoboticUnicornZombie828

**Chapter XXV. ****_Sorry for Sore Eye_**** by RoboticUnicornZombie828**

"William is a snitch, a winged eyeball. He doesn't speak (to the students), but he gives Miss Simian updates on what is going on in the classroom that she isn't noticing. Because of his appearance, some have deemed him creepy. Now, in his feature episode, he terrorized Gumball and Darwin because they were reluctant to be his friend, but it was because they couldn't understand him on account of him having no mouth.

"Up until November 8, 2013, not once has anyone considered writing a fanfiction about William. Now, a newcomer to this archive has gone where no on else has dared to tread, and here's what he has brought forth: an example of good writing to help release the archive from its bonds.

"Taking place after the episode "The Voice," Darwin makes the decision, after some careful consideration, for him and Gumball to make amends with William.

"Because of its quality, it makes the bad stuff stand out, unfortunately. I noticed that a word was left out, and there were a few grammatical errors.

"Now, what's good is that it goes in depth about a very minor character, detailing his possible feelings of jealousy towards his peers, which could be his reason for carrying out his function in the show. It plays the characters out really well, especially Gumball, with his initial reluctance. It's a story that will make you really reconsider what you think about William.

"William's first performance as a kid that's been abused for much of his life is one you won't want to miss. This new writer to this archive has definitely set the standard for writing, and I hope to see it continue. I'd give it 9/10."


	26. Marches45 2 (self review)

**Chapter XXVI. ****_Love is Blind_**** by Marches45 (self review)**

"As I take a peek back at the stuff I posted here, I think, _Wow. How is it possible that I've had that little skill with storytelling? _What's more baffling is that it remains in me even today. I had an idea about Gumball getting an eating disorder because of bullying, but I decided to scrap it on account of eating disorders as a plot device being cliché. Now, I'm making a story about TV using mostly the realism of the show with a plot that's original. Anyway, here, I made my second attempt at a romance story, and it came even shorter than my first.

"We have my OC Maxine Watterson (one of the kids of Gumball and Carrie) being teased by three of her sisters, Skye, Marissa, and Stormy, about her feelings toward her best friend, Kenny Fisher, while the parents are out of town for a time (which I never explain). When Max, Stormy, and Kenny go to the bookstore, they meet David Deafiller, an OC I created specifically for this story, who's had an unhappy past. He takes an interest in Max while Kenny just takes on an aloof, though secretly jealous attitude, and Stormy seems not to trust him. The story escalates into a case of child abuse and such.

"This is one of my most recent failures. I mean, read it and you'll see what I mean at the end. The plot's a big thing that ruins it. It's cliché, unrealistic in some respects, and just plain bad. It nods to the Twilight saga, and the only thing keeping it from being exactly that is the fact that Kenny isn't a vampire, and David isn't a werewolf. The romance has little sense of realism, such as "boy rescues girl, girl falls in love with boy." That's cliché and lacks realism, though in its defense, the girl was actually already in love with him secretly.

"Next, some of the OCs actually do something, so that's a positive, but others, not really, so they shouldn't really be there. Fortunately, I had no plans of making a sequel of this because it would be just as bad if not worse.

"This, like my other GumballxCarrie fankid story _Payback (Carine: The Mind of a Psychopath)_, has a childish plot with mature dialogue. Yeah, I went back to the frequently cussing characters in this one. Their language problem is almost as bad as Thugnificent from _Boondocks_, who can hardly go one sentence without cussing. It's enough to make you think, _OMG, will you stop cussing?!_

"One thing I did like was that I have good enough grammar and spelling skills for it to be readable. I also gave a back story to the villain, so that he'd have a reason to be as he was. Of course, it wasn't really a good reason, I don't think, but it was a reason instead of just coming out of nowhere. Another thing, this story avoids the cliché of a character getting knocked unconscious and not being taken to the hospital. The character does get knocked out, but is taken to the hospital.

"This last failure that I hope will be my last failure is something I never want to do again. It shows how much I have stunk at being original, coming up with sufficient plot lines, and a certain scene betrays my dirty mind. I'd give this 0.5/10 stars. I hope this is the last of my brand of poor storytelling.

"Now before I end this chapter, I should tell you that I've read BlackAcez's new chapter of _TAWoG - Family Ties_. I read the rap he wrote that followed the story. At first, I thought he was angry at Henry Peters, but that was my fault because I hadn't finished reading it. I agree with his statements about Lexboss, how she is the kindest person on the archive, but I was most touched when he started talking about me, how, after receiving some negative reviews, I grew as a writer instead of raging. Of course, now, I have to be honest: back in May, when I received my first critically negative review from EvelioandJamiewithSK (EvelioandZgroup and Jamie Skyland), I got mad. Then, when they reviewed another one, I did rage. I should have known not to rage at critics because I was going to lose. I gave up rather quickly, apologized for my actions, and then tried taking their advice to get better. And now that I have, I wish I had done that before coming to the TAWOG FF Archive and bringing a lack of skill."


	27. The Delhision 2

**Chapter XXVII. ****_Never Forget _****by the Delhision**

"I personally like this author. He certainly has mastery of giving detail to present a transparent image to think about as you read his works. I was recommended his newest composition, and once again, that detail that he always gives came my way. The rest… read on to find out.

"Gumball is aboard a spaceship returning to Earth. With him is his monitor computer, J.A.N.E. With oxygen levels depleting, the nostalgic Gumball enters a cryogenic chamber that goes into his mind to delve into his memories. It even gets a glimpse of the near future that he hopes for.

"The Delhision gets it with grammar and spelling, though I have no idea why he spelled right like the last name instead of the verb every time, and it kind of bothers me that he did that, and he is very detailed with this. That's his writing's best quality, in my opinion. Of course, there are some shortcomings. When Gumball and Carrie are seven, I would think they acted more like they were three or four. Plus, with Lexy's presence, there's a giant plot hole with her story arc.

"When Gumball and Carrie were watching the scary movie as kids, Carrie seemed like she wasn't really herself. You know what I mean, her emo essence. Next, at fourteen, the couple seems melodramatic. I get that they're sad, and they need to vent, but the crying seems a bit much. Later, before Gumball admits his feelings for Carrie, the love triangle appears. Classic cliché that's good for romantic drama, but not for originality.

"Now, the Delhision said that whoever could guess what the spaceship represents gets extra points. I have three guesses, none of which I think he had in mind: a time machine, the Titanic, and the tale of Exodus. The time machine because Gumball is visiting his past, though subconsciously, but he can't alter the events. The Titanic because of the final scene from the 1997 movie where it's unknown if Rose was dreaming or she died. Exodus because when Gumball (Moses) returns from space (Mount Sinai), in his mind, the people worship a different god. I know, these are probably incorrect, but these are my guesses.

"A detailed story that unfortunately had a plot hole, came short with characterization, but did a pretty good job at symbolism. I'd give it 6/10 stars (sorry, dfitz8248). This guy is good, but he still needs some work (so do I)."


	28. Urimizo

**Chapter XXVIII. _Home Invasion_ by Urimizo**

After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I dry my hands with the towel and leave the bathroom, making sure to turn out the light. I turn out the light in my bedroom, get under the covers of my bed, and quietly say the Lord's Prayer before trying to go to sleep when a voice interrupts me. "What is wrong with you, dude?" it says.

Completely startled, I jump in bed slightly, my eyes shooting open. I quickly sit up in bed and rush to the door to flip the light switch. I look around the room, yet I see no one. I breathe a quiet sigh of relief and then turn the light back off. The voice says, "I'm right here. In the mirror." I turn on the light again and walk to the mirror of my bedroom. I see my reflection looking disapprovingly at me, its arms crossed. I stare at it for a second in complete shock.

"Well?" it asks. "What's wrong with you?"

"What do you mean?" I ask it.

"I mean why haven't you written anything new yet? All you've been doing for the past month is reviewing stories."

"Yeah, so what? First off, you're me, so you've been doing the same thing by extension. Second, I kinda like doing it."

"Yeah, but what about actually writing something again? The last time you did that was in September when you made _The Will_. Didn't that feel good when you found out it was good?"

"Begrudgingly, I answer, "Yes."

"So why not do it again?"

"Who says it was easy?" I ask, hands on my hips. "I had to stay up very late to finish it when I did. I have more ideas, but I want to make them good, and that's not exactly easy. Since you're me, you know how much I struggle at writing."

"Yeah, but I also know it's just a rock wall up which you need to climb. So what, something's hard. That doesn't mean it's impossible. The right idea will come to you soon enough. Just keep going at it. Keep thinking."

I sigh. "That's exactly what I'm trying to do, but whatever I think of, I always spy a plot hole. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a review to do." I turn away from the mirror, and my reflection resumes mimicking my every move once again.

"Okay, I'm sorry about the inner conflict here. I'm just stuck on ideas for future stories. I want something that's unpredictable and original. I've got two that might fit, but after that, I'll be in the same position as now. Anyway, here's an old story that I read a while ago that I reexamined. I really like this one.

"Nicole is planning her day for the next day before going to bed, but when two robbers break into the Watterson home in the middle of the night, it's up to Nicole to save her family from danger.

"I don't exactly like how the fight starts out, with Nicole announcing her presence before she strikes. At the end, when she buys a replacement window, it doesn't say where she bought it. If it was online, it would take more time for it to arrive.

"Now, here's what's good: everything. Urimizo accurately captures the characters' personalities while giving us a thrilling story to keep you on the edge of your seat until it's all over and done. This detailed, suspenseful story is excellent and realistic, thoroughly explaining why crime doesn't pay, especially if Nicole Watterson is involved.

"Home invasions happen very often in the U.S. If you want to know what it's like… you don't. This story is realistic in the sense of Nicole Watterson, but it's not likely that you're that good. Leave the fighting to her. I'd give this 9.5/10 stars. Now, I will soon get back to writing. Don't worry."

P.S. I put the internal conflict moment as a tribute to Henry Peters.


	29. Urimizo 2

**Chapter XXIX. ****_A Second Chance_**** by Urimizo**

"Hey, it's me. I'm still working on an Anais-centered story, but I'm also still doing this review story. Now, I started back at the beginning of this archive to find this, and when I read it, it made me think of one of my stories. This one was definitely better than that, and here's my review.

"The stress of Gumball's life is becoming too much for him to handle. After a cruel prank, courtesy of Tobias, he reaches his limit and considers ending his suffering when Carrie, who may have more in common with him than either of them initially realized, offers a little story for him.

"This story is great. The main error I found was a little punctuation, but other than that, nothing. It's a powerful and emotional piece that explains an early fan concept of how Carrie died. The realism and believability of it all is so on-point that it's hard to find something bad to say about it. Unless you're you-know-who.

"It's a story that says this: even in great darkness, you can still find a light.

"A masterpiece is what this is. Who better to explain why you shouldn't commit suicide than one that actually did that deed? I'd give this 9.75/10 stars."


	30. SuperKamiGuruFTW

**Chapter XXX. ****_Out There_**** by SuperKamiGuruFTW**

"I'll be honest: I may have seen the whole movie _The Hunchback of Notre Dame_, but I have little memory, despite knowing the basic synopsis; however, I do recall seeing an early part of it on YouTube, and that's the only thing I could think about as I read this.

"A song-fic in which Principal Brown explains why Gumball cannot go to some Elmore festival.

"The author may have intended to make an adaptation of this scene from the movie, but it was not a good attempt. No description is offered whatsoever. The only indication as to the setting is the summary. This doesn't even feel long enough to be its own story. It seems like it's just a clip.

"The characterization wasn't very good, either. Sure, Gumball was an ugly baby, but there was technology to fix his condition, unlike Quasimodo, whose deformity (mostly his hunch, to me) was lifelong. Principal Brown, if this became an adaptation of the full movie, would be a pedophile, and his personality doesn't match that of Claude Frollo. It's a role more suited to Miss Simian, which, in turn, could make this a genderbent adaptation of the movie, with different characters for each important role. Now, this might actually work if the kids were older. Adults.

"The spelling and grammar was good, though. The punctuation? Not really.

"If you want an understanding of what a social outcast may feel as his much older mentor misguides him, I'd advise checking out the actual movie over this little glimpse that doesn't do much justice. Of course, if you want the glimpse, perhaps you could check this out. I'd give it 1.5/10 stars."


End file.
